Anxiety, worries and fears in children
Understanding Anxiety in Children
Anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear that something bad might happen. It can also show up as physical reactions—like “butterflies” in the stomach—or behaviours such as avoiding certain situations or looking for extra reassurance.
Feeling anxious, worried, or afraid is a normal part of life for children. These feelings usually come and go and often change as children grow and move through different stages of development.
What Children Worry About as They Grow
It’s completely normal for children’s worries to change as they get older. Here are some common fears you might notice at different stages:
- Babies and toddlers might feel upset when they’re away from you. They can also be startled by loud noises, heights, or unfamiliar faces.
- Preschoolers (under 5) often fear the dark or being left alone. Sometimes they might also worry about getting sick or hurt.
- School-age children may start to fear things like ghosts, social situations, tests, or being criticised.
- Children over 8 often start to worry about bigger things, like how well they’re doing in school or sports, family relationships, or even big world issues like the environment, pandemics, or wars.
Knowing what’s typical at each stage can help you support your child, offer reassurance, and remind them they’re not alone in how they feel.
Supporting Children with Anxiety
It’s normal for kids to feel anxious or worried sometimes — and there are many ways you can help them through it:
- Acknowledge their feelings. Let your child know it’s okay to feel anxious — lots of children do!
- Talk it through. Give them a safe space to share what’s on their mind.
- Encourage gentle bravery. Support them to face situations that make them anxious, one small step at a time.
- Offer help at the right time. Step in when they truly need it, but try to give them a chance to try first.
- Celebrate their courage. Praise their effort when they face a fear, even if it’s just a small step forward.
- Stay positive. Avoid criticism or labelling them as “shy” or “anxious.”
- Focus on healthy habits. Good food, physical activity, and enough sleep all help keep minds and bodies strong.
With calm support and encouragement, children can build confidence and learn to manage their worries over time.
The Step Ladder Approach
The stepladder approach is a step-by-step way of helping children and teenagers handle anxiety.
- The approach involves tackling little things before facing really scary things.
- The approach encourages children and teenagers to face their fears, rather than avoiding them.
You can use the approach for different ages and anxieties.
You can read about this approach at:
https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/health-daily-care/mental-health/anxiety-stepladder-approach
Here is an example for how the Step Ladder Approach could be utilised with an 8 year old:
All of the information above was taken from the Raising Children Network. You can learn more about anxiety in children here: https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/health-daily-care/mental-health/anxiety-in-children
Tip:
If you’re unsure about how to do this stepladder – talking to a professional, perhaps a child and family health nurse, GP, or psychologist – or contact the school and I can support you to head in the right direction.
Have a great week!
Sarah Weichert
Mental Health and Wellbeing Leader
Monday, Wednesday & Friday